January 10, 2K2 - 9:35 P.M.
January 10, 2K2 - 9:35 P.M.
January 10, 2K2 - 9:35 P.M.

Hirose Koumi - GURENDE ga Tokeru hodo Koishitai
Feelin' a bit concerned...

To Nicole chan:

If you really feel that there's no one to trust, then why not trust yourself? No one said that life couldn't go on without someone to lean on.

It seems from your entry that you are depressed because people are complaining or talking about you. You can't let that get to you though. If your dad thinks your annoying, well that's his own problem. :\ If people are backstabbing you, well you shouldn't worry about that because they probably aren't the kind of people you need to spend any time caring about. And if they were friends... well, forget about them. Some friends they turned out to be, backstabbing you like that!

Peoples' opinion on you shouldn't matter, as long as you know that you're a good person, which I'm sure you are. ^_^

And don't think for one second that there are people out there with perfect lives. Those who seem like that are fakes who think acting that innocent will make them respected. And if they truly are that perfect, they'll never make it in the real world. If they take what they have for granted, then it'll hurt them hard in the future. It's nothing you should worry about. It's their own grave they're digging, not your's.

I guess what I'm trying to say is don't let other people's words hurt ya. Allowing your self-esteem to fall can be deadly. X_x

Edit] Okay, now you're sounding quite simple-minded. =_= Sure, your dad doesn't listen. But still, that's no reason to wish death upon him. He's your fucking father, fer Christ's sake. You were talking about how other people don't realize how good they have it. Well, you can bet anything that there are people out there who'd risk anything to have a father like yours. A father who doesn't hit or scream or do drugs.

Just because he doesn't listen doesn't means he doesn't love ya. It just means he needs to take a little responsibility of keeping promises. You have to respect your father because he's your father. At least.

And grudges are okay sometimes, but you should just let this one go. If you really feel that angry towards them, then maybe you should come to terms with your emotions. ^^; Life isn't all about getting even ya know! Just go out, watch a movie with your friends, pull some pranks over at the mall, have fun! Having fun is something people our age should be doing! People at ANY age! Trust me, the more you enjoy yourself, the more you'll feel better about yourself. ^_^

January 10, 2K2 - 9:00 P.M.
January 10, 2K2 - 9:00 P.M.
January 10, 2K2 - 9:00 P.M.

Weiß - Epitaph
Feelin' happy happy joy!

Glad you got Pitas working again, Kalisa. ^_^ I missed ya! Well, your entries anyway. >:P Wow! I didn't know Rick, Thomas, and Clark's band had a site! X_x Call me weird, but I always find it awkward when my local friends have sites. I'm supposed to be the web designing guru around here!! XDDDD

You guys are going to endlessly torture me till my birthday, aren't you? ¬_¬ Send that thing soon! My friends are already onto it. >:P It better be some good eye candy!! Snooch to the nooch!!! Kakaka, sorry just got out of watching Dogma. >:P Gah, I just love that movie. *_*

Today was very odd. Prime moment being lunch time. ^_^a Okay, Adrian gave Adam a sort of head lock, Rick fed the seagulls overdue Cheetos, and Ben got tackled to the ground. I took some pictures of it. XDDDD I just love my new camera!! Maybe I should post them here... and backmail them... for what? I dunno, maybe something will come up in the future. >:D

Ben made a small conversation with me... I thought that was weird. O_o;; Well, not that we're not buddies, but we never had any real talk in Geometry last semester. He said to me that it kinda sucked being alone in his new math class and he wished I took his class with him. ^^a In some deranged way it was sweet what he said, but what really bugs me is that he appreciates my presence now, but not when I had a little crush on him in Geometry. >_< Shitsticks. Well, I don't think I like him that way anymore, so biiiida. :P

Kalisa, Jennifer, and Lisa may be coming over for the weekend! Wheeee! Sleepovers! XDDDD After they watch Lord of the Rings again, they'll swing by. >:P Hopefully, if things go according to plan. Enjoy the movie guys. ^^ Tell me if it's any better the nth time!

Do you guys even care about my social/love/pathetic excuse of a life???? ANY of you?!? XO

January 09, 2K2 - 8:54 P.M.
January 09, 2K2 - 8:54 P.M.
January 09, 2K2 - 8:54 P.M.

SONIA - Tenchi Muyou!
Feelin' blerg, full

What Dir en grey member is most like you? Find out here! by thingwraith

I'm Kyo~! XDDD *dances* I rule, I rule...

Today was rather blah. And as usual, I didn't do any of what I planned yesterday. I didn't even make my macaroni and cheese! Grrr!! Had to go with my brother to get his new TV since his old one went boom. :P It's really nice! I'd play some of my Saturn games on it but I can't since the necessary cord I need was sold along with the Playstation. =_= But soon, soon... aniki will die. XD

I now have 2nd lunch, which is nice because Kalisa won't be lonely. ^^ But it kind of sucks because... well, we can't be weird. =_= All these other guys share our lunch and we just listen to their weird conversations. Granted, the debates are quite amusing ("Yer gay!" "Am not!!"), but still, Kalisa and I need to be weird too! Our style of weirdness is unique and the guys wouldn't appreciate it. >:P

Art class rather sucks. This is NOT the Art 2-D I wanted. I said I wanted Newberry goddammit!! Grr, Hammond is teaching everything I did in Newberry's last year, only he's a lot more boring. =_= You can't be like Newberry, you dork!! You don't cuss, yer not 50, and you don't have a big wooden javelin to threaten disruptive students with! GAH!!

And Life Management is the worst. =_= Not only am I doing exactly what I did last year in her class, I know nobody there. =_= I asked my guidance counselor about the class and she said that I took Parenting last year, not Life Management. Aren't they both the same thing?! Grr, all this damn time I'm wasting!! XO *turns SD and throws a hissy fit* Raaaaaaaaa!! Maybe they should make high a year longer...? Naaah, forget I said that.

Wow. The Kanon/Air music video I was trying to connect to for days is finally downloading! O_o;;; The servers must be really overloaded. Countdown: 160.31 MB at 10.0k/sec! Four more hours to go! Wheeeeee!

My mind is blank. I shall go now, because if I don't pay attention when I'm typing I type the weirdest stuff. O_o;;; One time I typed Kodomo no Espresso on accident. X_x I dunno WHERE that came from. Maybe I'm drinking too much coffee. Thanks a lot, Shinji!! But I digress.

And I'm tired. Tired?! It's not even 10:00 pm yet!! X_x Urusee nou, hottoke! *plops down* 'Yasumi ku~...

January 09, 2K2 - 12:08 A.M.
January 09, 2K2 - 12:08 A.M.
January 09, 2K2 - 12:08 A.M.

[I'VE] Ayana - Discrimination
Feelin' sleeeeepy nyu!

Dave Thomas is dead. I can't believe it!! He died yesterday! How are we going to see weird Wendy's commercials now?! XO

But other than that, there's nothing new. >:P Glad to hear that a few people agreed with my rant below. ^_^ I hope I didn't depress too many people with that. ¬_¬ But I warned ya; I did say I love to rant!

Today's been a very good day! Besides the ice cold wind blasting in my face, it's been nice! I couldn't get Newberry's art class. =_= I got this dumb guy who brags about being a professional artist. If he's so professional, what's he doing teaching high school art?! Gah, whatta nerd!!! But his class was fun today, because he assigned us to draw each other. =_= I got totally butchered by Amie McMillan. My head looked like an ass! Seriously!!! XDDDDDD

I may be able to get Newberry in another period. I'm going to see my counselor to straighten out why I have Life Management again. Life Management really bites. =_= I think it's Mrs. Logue. Tooooooo senile.

Oh, when I got home, I smelled something burning. O_o;;; The stove wasn't on, nothing that gets on fire was on... but we found out that my brother's TV was the kaput. I didn't know TVs could blow up like that. X_x Well, not necessarily blow up, but it just went... bleh. I liked his TV.

And because I'm a big blob of lethargy, I went to take a nap nap. I got up again at 11 pm, thinking it was 11 am, so I ended up freaking out because I thought I was really late for school. =_= Then I looked out the window and saw that it was dark. It left me throughly stunned for about a minute. :\ Hey, shut up! It happens to everyone!!

But hey! I got to check my mail and gaaaaah! I'm glad you're still alive, kouhai! Come back soon, ya hear? ^_^

And so, tomorrow I will con-vince my mama to drive me around town so I can write down all the Spanish-originated street names for Spanish class. And tomorrow I will lose weight, get in shape. XD Ka! I'm 95 lbs!

So scratch that. Tomorrow I'll go home, have some macaroni and cheese, and fall asleep. See if I can confuse myself again.

January 07, 2K2 - 11:34 P.M.
January 07, 2K2 - 11:34 P.M.
January 07, 2K2 - 11:34 P.M.

The Gospellers - Atomic ARMS
Feelin' ugu? Maji ka yo?!

Code LARA, Code LARA. Long Ass Rant Alert.

Goddammit, Chiha chan, you are aquainted with THE most depressing people I've ever heard of. O_o;; Oh my god... This is so sad. I don't even know the person, but wow... I wish I did, because maybe I could've slapped some sense into her. But her post sure makes you think...

Is there really nothing that's worse than lonliness? Well yeah, I think being or living with someone you're afraid of is worse than being lonely. But still, either is no excuse to end your own life... Not that I'm saying there's absolutely no excuse for such a deed; there will always be exceptions, but when it's for selfish reasons like this, it's really... dumb. No offense to the girl's friends and family, but like most teenage suicides it was pretty unecessary.

A lot say that people commit suicide because they're weak, but I don't think so... I'm sure that for someone to feel suicidal they'd have to have dealt with a lot of pain for a very long time, or they've reached a certain point where they just don't know what to do anymore. They're not weak; they just can't take it anymore. Who knows, suicide may be the easy way out, but I find the method rather selfish. Noble, maybe; depends on the case.

For people to kill themselves over a feeling of lack of love... that's dumb. =_= Hey, if a psychologist examined me, I would be considered pretty whacko. X\ Let's look into my background, shall we?

In order: My papa was very abusive to my mama, when I was much younger I had to deal with a rather... hateful brother, the family went bankerupt once and we had to live in a gas station for a few months, the only friend I had in 2nd grade turned on me, papa got a stroke and ended up in a wheelchair, a family feud started and we almost got sued, papa got another stroke but he croaked that time, post-parental death inner turmoils blah blah blah, and now feeling quite distant from current family members. The end.

But just because all that shit happened doesn't mean I'm depressed. It's really all in yer mind. You just don't let it get to ya. I choose not to dwell on the bad things that happened in my life. There are things that are going to happen tomorrow and I wanna know what that's going to be!

January 06, 2K2 - 11:25 P.M.
January 06, 2K2 - 11:25 P.M.
January 06, 2K2 - 11:25 P.M.

Yuuki Hiro - Lady
Feelin' relieved

This is the most fruity song I've ever heard. X_x The lyrics just make you wanna.... ugh!! >_<

Why am I addicted to this really dumb song?! XO

Anyway. ^_^ Look to yer right! Yeah, I CGed once again! XDDDD I am evil when Photoshop is near. Geh, I hate the way the couch came out... can you tell that's a couch?! DEH!! But hey, I love the look on his face. ^_^

So now I'm off to bed, so I can ready myself for the slave hills. Also known to most as high school. >:P

January 06, 2K2 - 11:24 A.M.
January 06, 2K2 - 11:24 A.M.
January 06, 2K2 - 11:24 A.M.

"Wierd Al" Yankovich - Jerry Springer
Feelin' awake

*sings* Happy birthday to you, Lyn! ^__^v Yer twenty three! *gives you a cookie and an over the hill candle* Gah! Where did that come from?!

*takes back the cookie* There we go. >:P

Kalisa and Jennifer spent last night at one of their houses. ^^; I couldn't go; it was too late in the night. I hope they had fun anyway! Tell me what ya guys did! ^_^

Oh oh, guys! Ask me how my popcorn and late night CG was! XDDDD Careful, it's not done yet. v^_^v

Chiha chan had quite an interesting rant about journals. ^^ I very much agree with her! If you don't want to talk about your problems on your journal, don't just put "I feel depressed" or "I'm crying". =_=

*takes a lookie at her tracker* Whoa. O_o;;; My journal gets more access than my old Grandia II site!! What's up with dat?? X I've noticed that I've been getting a lot of plugs for this journal... People I don't even know are plugging me!! *_* Rather odd. ^^;; But thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Arara, that was a lot of people. O_o;; Hen da nou! XO

Tomorrow we go back to school. Dammit.... Where did the vacation go?! It would've seemed longer if I didn't get sick. =_=;;;

January 05, 2K2 - 8:49 A.M.
January 05, 2K2 - 8:49 A.M.
January 05, 2K2 - 8:49 A.M.

[I'VE] KOTOKO - Time Heals All Sorrows
Feelin' highly amused in a deranged sorta way O_o

Kakaka, look what I found! XDDD Type in some anime characters' name, game characters' name, your town bully's name, your own damn name, and have fun! XDDDDD

This is why they don't let me on the computer so early in the morning...

January 04, 2K2 - 6:07 P.M.
January 04, 2K2 - 6:07 P.M.
January 04, 2K2 - 6:07 P.M.

Shimamiya Eiko - Last Regrets ~X'mas Floor Style~
Feelin' proud, baby, yeah! XDDD

Ain't it the truth? X3

January 04, 2K2 - 5:24 P.M.
January 04, 2K2 - 5:24 P.M.
January 04, 2K2 - 5:24 P.M.

Journey's End Piano Solo.mid
Feelin' hyper hyper nyuuu!

Aaaaah! KALISA! LOOK LOOK! It's LEGOLAS!! EVERYWHERE! XDDDDDD Go there and drool yourself silly!

January 04, 2K2 - 12:02 A.M.
January 04, 2K2 - 12:02 A.M.
January 04, 2K2 - 12:02 A.M.

Evening Grow.mid
Feelin' fucking pissed off!

Oh, I'm pissed. =_= I hate my puter so much. Or at least WinAMP's goddamn MIDI plug-in configeration.

I guess it's my own dumb fault for not saving two hours worth of CG sketching to mess around with a midi problem. =_= But hey, I didn't know the puter would restart automatically!! XO

GODDAMN YOU WINAMP!!

Geh, anyway. =_= That was the major down of today... er, yesterday. A lot of downs were yesterday, actually. ^^;; I found out that my brother sold the Playstation about two weeks ago and he never told me until yesterday, when I told him what I wanted for Christmas (Senkai Taisen). What irked me was that we both went half on the Playstation, so whatever he got from it I get half, right?

I don't know when he planned on telling me. He didn't know either.

I'm being ripped off by my own fucking family.

Hell, if I can't trust my family, who the hell can I trust?

January 03, 2K2 - 4:53 A.M.
January 03, 2K2 - 4:53 A.M.
January 03, 2K2 - 4:53 A.M.

PAMELAH - Shooting Star
Feelin' a bit fed up =_=

Okay, so after 4 hosting rejections for Stress Relief, I decided to just post the comic on the journal itself. =_= I swear, people are just too touchy about hentai and yaoi!! Grrr!

Well, anyway, if you look to your upper left, you will get a good view of your ceiling... X3 Kakaka, joudan joudan (though that wasn't completely untrue), you'll see the first 8 pages of Stress Relief, my crazy Houshin Engi A/U comic. ^_^ I've got quite a few more to add, but as I said I'm scannerless. ^^;; But enjoy what I have up!

January 03, 2K2 - 3:29 A.M.
January 03, 2K2 - 3:29 A.M.
January 03, 2K2 - 3:29 A.M.

[I'VE] SENPAI - Dreamer
Feelin' whoa! Suge~!

Looks like Phoe chan finally brought back her site! *_* It's been a while. I've forgotten what it was like being a Horde webmistress... Oh yeah, stressful. ^^;;

Well, now that she's solo, she'll have less to worry about. ^_^

Hey! Shinji! Ameria! We gotta get the others together and tackleglomp her! XD Have a nice Horde Masters' reunion or something like that. ^_^ It's been such a long time since I talked to Phoe... We have a lot of stuff to tell her! Like... uh... our exciting nights sitting in front of the boob tube and eating instant ramen. KAKAKA!! *rolls on the floor*

Wow, I'm awfully hyper for 3:30 in the morning. XDDDDD

January 02, 2K2 - 4:19 P.M.
January 02, 2K2 - 4:19 P.M.
January 02, 2K2 - 4:19 P.M.

[I'VE] SHIHO - Days of Promise
Feelin' c-c-c-c-c-cold....

I've been up since 11:00 A.M. helping cleaning one of the trailer parks my mama owns... It's... so fucking cold outside!!! Too windy and blowy and I couldn't feel my toes or my hands... hell, I couldn't feel. X_x Kinda hard to grip a rake when you can't feel your fingers.

So fuck cleaning my room. =_= It can wait till tomorrow, when the peachy color of my skin returns to my hands.

At least I got some nice food at Chik-Fil-A. ^_^ Chicken soup! XDDDD *slurp* Aaaah, thick warm goodness...

January 02, 2K2 - 7:53 A.M.
January 02, 2K2 - 7:53 A.M.
January 02, 2K2 - 7:53 A.M.

John Williams - Remembrance [Schindler's List]
Feelin' myerk

So I couldn't go back to sleep. Goddamn you HBO.

So in amidst of my blankly surfing the net, I found many sites bragging about how they use Notepad instead of an HTML generator. X_X I don't know why someone would want to brag about Notepad because IMHO Notepad sucks monkey you get the idea. XD Sucks then, sucks now. =_= Even the XP version has a bug in it's wordwrap system.

Why do I still use it? Habit. :P I should start using Word...

January 02, 2K2 - 6:33 A.M.
January 02, 2K2 - 6:33 A.M.
January 02, 2K2 - 6:33 A.M.

[I'VE] KOTOKO - Time Heals All Sorrows
Feelin' peaceful, yet scared out of my wits

Man, I swear I gotta stop watching those late night HBO movies. =_= Dark movies about serial killers and cannibalistic transvestites just scare the living shit out of me I tell you!! >_< Mommy...

Geh, I'm okay. I'm also a little late to wish everyone a safe happy new year. ^^;; But here's the present that I wanted to give everyone! Something new for your Winamp. ^_^v Happy New Year!

I wanna clean out my room... it's so messy!! I'll start later today. If I can sleep, that is...

December 31, 2K1 - 10:00 A.M.
December 31, 2K1 - 10:00 A.M.
December 31, 2K1 - 10:00 A.M.

Hirose Koumi - GURENDE ga Tokeru Hodo Koishitai
Feelin' awake

The moon was absolutely beautiful last night. It was full, there was a yellow aura to it, and there was a ring around it. It doesn't get any prettier than that. *_*

Today is my mama's birthday! She be 55. +_+ She's not old! But she is too old to be working such a back breaking job. *_* I wonder if she's going to be working...

*munches on some tuna melt* Oh, I love this stuff! XD

Man, I really am sick. =_= My throat is sore and I'm burning up and I'm just plain icky. Why do I always get sick during vacation holidays?! It's... just not fair... MUFFINS!!!

Geh. Anyway. :P Look around ya! Yeah, I changed layouts. ^___^ You now see that drawing I was killing myself over in the previous entry. Ya like ya like? I like! XD I love Houshin Engi to death, y'know?

Remember, Shinji bun? We made a promise dealing with our blog/journal layouts a while ago! I didn't forget!! Kakaka! XDDD Well I've done my part, so now I await for you to keep your end of the deal! That is, whenever you get your computer thing resolved. ^^ I'm still wishing ya luck!

I'm very sorry to hear about your computer too Michiko. ^^;;; *gives you a blankey and a cookie* Wow, seems like everybody's puter is going kaput these days!

Though I'm very glad to hear that you're feeling much better! As they say, laughter is the miracle drug. >:P

Hmm.... according to a rather interesting conversation between Lyn and Zeruel, the latest internet ick is Photoshop brushes. I wanna rant about it too! XD

As you can see in the last journal layout, yes I did use some Photoshop brushes from Nocturna.net. I found that they are rather fun to use and experiment with. But I was not too satisfied with the end result, not because of Zeruel's argument of the pride of doing things yourself, but because of his argument of look of style. ^^;; My style is more staight lines than grungy curves.

I do agree with Zeruel to a certain extent. Yes, you do feel a certain pride in yourself when you do things the hard way, but it's rare to see somebody do EVERYTHING themselves. Sure, they can take an image, edit it with painstaking detail by hand, and code the page by hand, and say they did everything themselves. No they didn't! They didn't draw the image themselves, did they? They had to take the image from someplace else.

Using other resources isn't a bad thing. It's why they are resources. You use them. As for brushes, well, they're brushes. They make things easier. I can't blame somebody for wanting something done easier. If you were given a choice to breathe easier, wouldn't you take it?

If somebody truly wanted it the hard way, then they'd fire up MSPaint and start adding a drop shadow to an image pixel by pixel. But no, we have Photoshop to do that for us, right?

So I'd have to agree with Lyn. If somebody wants to experiment with brushes, then we have no right to stomp them.

Yodel-leh-ee-oo. Boredum. Holy cow, why doesn't anything happen around here?! Maybe I should trudge on my rooftop clucking like a chicken. Who knows, I may get on the headlines!

I noticed that I haven't said the word myerk in a long time. So, myerk.

Man, I've been busting my ass on Photoshop. =_= Since I'm scannerless I haven't been able to CG any drawings lately and well I got sick of it. But still, drawing in Photoshop is hard work, especially when all you depend on is a mouse and your Anchor Point tool. O_o;;;; I think it's coming out pretty nicely though; hopefully my luck'll keep up. Hands are really hard to sketch with a mouse... >_<

Oh, and I noticed that my entries were adding up. *_* So I archived them... I didn't want to archive them until I put up a new layout, but hey, it was an unknown force thus pushed me to such limits. :P

I think I'm catching something... Either someone's turned up the heat about 70 or I've got the flu. =_= This sucks. Maybe I shouldn't have anybody over... or could I? XDDD Come here, Kalisa...